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I am undergoing relationship therapy with my mother, healing our relationship step by step. My work is similar to removing glass shards stuck in the soul and processing open wounds, scratches, looking at and analyzing voids, underground lakes of tears, once repressed memories that have turned into intricate images. The most painful memories are associated with the period after the divorce from my first husband, when the relationship with my mother became strained to the limit. Here is a fragment of my thoughts…
“You know, you’re ugly, you have a long nose! Maybe that’s why your husband left you and went to someone else?!” — Mom, why do I always hear this phrase? The difficult period in my life is long behind me, I have a happy family, I got married for the second time, we are making plans and enjoying each other’s company with my husband. But I am still tormented by painful memories after the divorce from my first husband; I am still haunted by feelings of guilt, bitterness and pain.
My mother died a long time ago, she did not live to see my second marriage, before her death she prophesied lifelong loneliness for me, saying: “So you will remain alone! You won’t be happy!” (sadly shakes head). Maybe she didn’t love me? I want to shout to her through the years: “Mom, believe in me! I know that I was a difficult child, and…
