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“Every person is afraid of something. And adults too.” This phrase surprises the child with whom I work on the topic of fears. Often a child hears: “You are already so big, but you are afraid to donate blood from your finger, to be left alone. You’re afraid of the dark, walking alone, answering at the blackboard, afraid to ask the teacher…” The list is endless.
Often fear is supported by real events in the child’s life. For example, a child witnesses an emergency situation on the road and, as a result, is afraid to ride in a car (by the way, adults often face this fear). Or a painful wasp sting, after which these insects become the most terrible in the world. Or a painful blood draw from a finger and a trip to the doctors.
Fears arise and are “transmitted” from news on TV, the Internet, stories from adults, friends at school. It is clear that the fears of a 3–5 year old child are different from the fears of a 10–12 year old child. But every time the answer says “stop being afraid, there’s nothing terrible” or “stop crying, nothing terrible happened,” what is actually heard is something completely different. The child “reads”: “I feel something is wrong now, I shouldn’t be afraid, there’s something wrong with me.” And the feeling of fear is repressed. But it exists and does not disappear anywhere. He just looks for a way out and finds it. In isolation, enuresis, hysterics for any reason…